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Jefferson’s Dead Moose Made America Great – France Vs America

Jefferson’s Dead Moose Made America Great – France  Vs America

even though they had just won a war
against the most powerful country on the planet in the 1780s – to the rest of the
world America was a young country and sort of a joke why had America only
produced one great man Benjamin Franklin Franklin was huge in Europe
the most popular theory about America came from a French nobleman named count
Julian Lew a little Buffon count be based on the word of some less than
impressed French friends claimed that the content had just been raised from
the sea it was covered in swamps and too humid and soft compared to the hard dry
land of Europe Bufo had never been to America this made life in America just a
degenerate copy of Europe’s if he brought animals or plants from Europe to
America their offspring would be smaller and
inferior as well this even applied to humans so you better not have any babies
in America have I mentioned that before had never been to America but this
theory became really popular and started to appear in textbooks and even poetry
this wasn’t good news for a fresh country that needed people to move there
and for Europe to buy its goods center the new American ambassador to
France a young Thomas Jefferson this was personal
TJ writes all his founder friends for help improving this dangerous Frenchman
wrong James Madison sent Jefferson the detailed measurements of Virginian
weasel Ethan bound to the distance between its
two naughty parts Jefferson writes his first and only book which included a
massive table of animal measurements compared to Europe’s such as the twelve
pound us otter compared to the nine pound European otter he even sends
bufang on american cougar pail and mastodon fossils none of this is good
enough for brew foam and over an awkward dinner jefferson has an idea he starts a
flurry of letters to his fellow founders with a task more precious than they
could imagine he needed a moose and fast it’s 20 miles from the nearest road it
would take twenty men two full weeks to drag the dead moose through the snow to
the governor by the time it arrives in his office the moose was starting to
decay had lost most of its fur and somehow its antlers were missing not
wanting to disappoint the writer of the Declaration of Independence the governor
packs up the mango boost with a bunch of deer antlers as replacements and ships
it off to Paris when finally arrives in Paris
one year later Thomas Jefferson had no choice but to take the largest pair of
deer antlers nail them onto the stuffed moose and send them to bouffant with a
note to well use his imagination for what it used to look like so did this
mighty moose change bouffant mind no one knows he died a few days after
the rock let’s just pretend he died it shocked over how wrong he was the theory
of American degeneracy wouldn’t go away from our 70 years well beyond the death
of Thomas Jefferson who would continue to fight it into his presidency at his
funeral his friend giving his eulogy would call this fight Jefferson’s
personal second Revolutionary War

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